Breaking News: NHL Jealous It's 83 Fucking Degrees In Los Angeles

Hermano here.

Word is that Jarret Stoll will get suspended for 1 game for this:




Can someone (not a dim-witted Sharks fan, preferably) explain to me how Stoll gets a one game suspension while Zdeno Chara failed to get suspended for this:



Can someone (again, preferably not a dim-witted Sharks fan) please explain how Jason Demers failed to receive any kind of suspension (or review, for that matter) for his rendition of Superman?



The only explanation I can think of is that the NHL executives in charge of assessing suspensions failed to get tickets for Coachella this year. They'll probably shed a tear when Duran Duran plays "Ordinary World." And they should.

Please excuse me while I grab a glass of cold water to cool down from this weather.

Much love till my next post.

Kings v. Sharks - Thoughts About Game 1

Hermano here.

The good news is that the Kings weren’t down 4-0 at the end of the first period like I initially thought was going to happen. The bad news is that we lost Game 1. The really bad news is that I feel exactly like I did a year ago after we lost Game 1 to the Canucks, a game we could have and should have won.

If there’s one thing I’m proud of about this team, it’s that they didn’t completely collapse after San Jose scored 28 seconds into the game. Flash back one year ago, the Kings would have immediately imploded, prompting a goalie change only to see that backup goalie get lit for a couple goals and then throwing a hissy fit and then the original goalie coming back into the net. Not that I’m bitter about last year’s loss to the Canucks. But seriously, good riddance, Ersberg. (Although major props to your agent for scoring you that Direct TV ad.)

J-Dub

If there’s one thing that surprised me from last night’s game (besides Clifford almost winning it for us late in the third period and/or Richardson almost winning it for us in overtime), it would have to be Justin Williams. I never thought he was that great, but I was shocked at how good he looked out there.

I read goalie blogs religiously and the one thing that all minor league goalies say about transitioning to the NHL is how creative the shooters are. When a minor league player has the puck, goalies will say the shooter will have about three options to make a play (e.g., shoot, pass back to point, cycle behind net). When an NHL player has the puck, goalies will say the shooter has about seven to eight options (e.g., shoot, pass back to point, cycle behind net, pass across slot to open man, pass to point on opposite side, backpedal with puck and wait for more options, try to burn defenseman one-on-one, sprout wings, or do some other crazy move I have no idea about).

For example, the Kings without Williams and Kopitar are, offensively, a minor league team. Every single offensive plays goes like this: they skate with the puck out of their zone, they shoot from the blue line, and they try to score if a goalie is stupid enough to give up a big rebound. That’s about it.

Insert Justin Williams (“J-Dub”). He’s chasing pucks down low, he’s cycling, he’s shaking off checks from defensemen, he’s making critical passes and making Niemi look the other way while wrapping the puck into the net. J-Dub has fooled the Kings into believing they’re an NHL offense again. I never knew how good he was, and now that he’s playing again (and putting up points and making the Kings look much better than they actually are), I absolutely love it.

Then again, sharing my hermana’s traits, I was a total Negative Nancy (Negative Nathan?) before the start of last night’s game. I honestly thought San Jose was dirty enough to start taking cheap shots at Williams after his first shift, knowing that he’s not fully recovered from a dislocated shoulder. I guess I was wrong – they waited for Williams to take about 7 shifts.

Stoll

Yeah yeah, cry me a river about Stoll destroying Ian White’s face. Stoll is apparently facing a disciplinary phone call, but he was just trying to make a play and finish his check. Stoll’s not a dirty player and there was nothing dirty about his hit. You want to see dirty? Check out Jason Demers’ hit on Smyth. I’m no ref, but I’m pretty certain you’re not allowed to jump into the air like Superfly Snuka and throw your forearm into someone’s face.

Seriously, Sharks fans, open your eyes. If you think Stoll's hit was dirty and, therefore, should be suspended, then what did you think of Chara's hit on Pacioretty? Because I'm pretty sure White didn't suffer a fractured neck and it's not like Chara got hit with a penalty, fine, or suspension.

Random Thoughts

Can someone please tell me what Westgarth was doing in our lineup last night? I almost had a stroke after I found out that Moller was scratched for last night’s game and Terry Murray was going with Westgarth instead. I guess Murray was concerned that Clifford was going to get his face caved in, especially after Clifford’s recent showing against the Ducks. And I guess there was almost a moment of redemption when Westgarth had the puck down low in the second period and looked like he was going to rifle a shot past Niemi. And I guess the Sharks were scared shitless when Westgarth started shouting at their bench after the Clifford fight. But I don’t think the presence of Westgarth is going to stop the Sharks from taking dirty runs at Williams. We might as well insert some much-needed offense (Moller) instead of trying to scare the Sharks.

Can someone please tell Simmonds that he’s already made the team and that we actually need him to get some shots on goal instead of being Johnny Hustle and running around like a maniac?

If Drew Doughty is going to become the 2010 version of Randy Jones, we might as well forfeit the next three games. His arrogant attempt to channel his inner Rob Blake and destroy Logan Couture with a hip check was one of the most selfish and foolish defensive moves I’ve ever seen in a playoff game.

Doughty, you weren’t around when Rob Blake was on the Kings. Rob Blake only taught that move to one person: Jack Johnson.

If it sounds like I’m harsh on Doughty, it’s because I am. As a lifelong Kings fan, when your second overall draft pick gets a Norris trophy nomination in his second season, you tend to have pretty high expectations for him. Like Lidstrom-esque high expectations, especially considering Lidstrom was picked in the third round.

Goaltending? I thought Quick was solid, especially considering he stopped 42 shots. Yeah, that second goal was a little soft, but hopefully it’ll teach Doughty a lesson and play some smart defense. The overtime goal was just a laser – Quick was out beyond his crease so he had the angle covered, he knew the puck was going to the trailer (Pavelski), and simply just got beat. It sucks to go out like that, but at least it wasn’t a soft one.

What can the Kings do better to win Game 2? Find this guy.

Seriously, you had to know that was coming.

Also, I’m thinking of making this sign to take to Games 3 and 4. Good idea?

I think I'm about to get struck by a lightning bolt.

Much love till my next post.

Frozen Fury XII Recap

Another Frozen Fury has come and gone and thankfully we only have to wait mere days before the 2009-2010 season opens at home against the Phoenix Coyotes. Unlike last year's Frozen Fury, this year I made it to Vegas Friday afternoon and was able to venture over to the MGM Grand where the Kings held their charity poker tournament.

I was a cheapo this year and opted to stay at an unexciting hotel/(barely existant) casino located just off the strip about 1 mile north of MGM Grand. Since I didn't want to risk getting mugged for the second time in 3 months as we walked 2 blocks through East Rape-town from the hotel to the strip, I left my purse in my hotel room, which meant I didn't bring my camera to the poker tournament. I definitely regret not bringing my camera because some of the players were very accessible as they roamed the perimeter of the tables, patiently stopping and taking pictures with all the female fans who were seconds away from screaming with excitement. Naturally the player who could barely walk two steps before getting stopped was the beloved Frolov (sans wedding ring....what!? put that shit back on!) As I was blindly walking around the tables I almost ran right into a very well-dressed Jack Johnson who looked exceptionally dapper in a charcoal striped suit with a dark plum dress shirt. Jack was definitely looking good.

Connie of A Queen Among Kings managed to snag photos with several players including, Kyle Quincey (who was working it with a questionably tight Hugo Boss shirt that allowed his guns to take center stage), Ryan Smyth (who had a very tough time figuring out how to smile), Rob Scuderi (who looked like his wife dressed him...not that there's anything wrong that), Anze Kopitar, and Alexander Frolov. (Not so) surprisingly, Matt Greene did not make Connie's cut.

As for the actual hockey game there appeared to be fewer people in attendance compared to last year, but the atmoshere was still exceptional. I was particularly excited because it had been way too long since I was at a Kings game. I was pleased to see all the top guys in the lineup with a couple youngsters thrown in there. I was surprised to see possible rookie Alec Martinez teamed up with Drew Doughty, but was disappointed that Thomas Hickey was left off the roster (and sent down to Manchester on Monday).

Quick Attack!

Kevin Westgarth wasted no time in getting the fans out of their seats as he dropped his gloves not even two minutes into the game. The fighters looked even but in pure Westgarth fashion, he clapped as he skated off the ice....love it...but still not sure he should upseat Ivanans nor do I think we need two enforcers in the lineup for every game. Thankfully, the Kings brass agree as Westgarth was assigned to Manchester on Monday. While Westgarth may be a bruiser all the way, you gotta give the Best Fighter Award to Wayne Simmonds, who not only tore up Hendricks, but also ended the game with a Gordie Howe Hat Trick. Last year Oscar Moller and Wayne Simmonds were the players who just eeked out a roster spot. Moller was sent down to Manchester earlier in the month, but Simmonds is holding strong and looked like he improved his game over the off-season.

Even though the Kings controlled most of the first period they looked rusty and weren't able to get any great scoring chances. Colorado actually got on the scoreboard first despite not showing much spark for the other 19:57 of the period. Frolov evened the score, deflecting a rocket from Jack Johnson.

Both teams picked it up in the next two periods and the Kings finally started looking better. Ryan Smyth showed some grit, but I was expecting him to crash the net more. The Kings still rolled with 4 forwards on the power play, alternating Stoll and Williams at the point; the power play was average, which won't cut it in the regular season, so hopefully the guys find their PP rhythm. Teddy Purcell didn't play as well as I thought he would, especially since you have to think he's fighting for a roster spot. He had some bad passes and wasn't contributing much on offense.

I was most impressed with the Kings defense, probably because Denis Gauthier wasn't in the lineup. The only time I noticed Rob Scuderi was during his first shift; analysts have mentioned that if you don't notice Scuderi, then he's doing his job. Drew Doughty was Drew Doughty as he continued to show a lot of poise and smarts and even contributed on offense with a goal. Jack Johnson was also a monster on defense. He looked physically ready and played one of his better games in a Kings uniform. The only defenseman I was not impressed with was Matt Greene. He was a liability in the game as he made some very noticeable mistakes and took bad penalties. He's not Denis Gauthier bad, but sometimes I wonder why he wears the 'A' and received a contract extension last year.

Matt Greene was in the yellow ball

I'm cautiously optimistic about this season, despite my prediction on Puck Daddy that I expect some level of failure from my Kings; I'm a pessimist, I can't help it. Even though the Kings played alright and they got the win, you can never judge an upcoming season by the results of preseason games. It's too easy to say the defense is significantly better or that Quick looked solid enough to lead the Kings into the post-season. Preseason games are so deceiving because of the mixture of players on both teams. But overall I liked what I saw this weekend and Frozen Fury got me even more pumped up for the Kings 2009-2010 season that starts this Saturday in LA. Go Kings!

Twinsies! (Stoll + Hamm)

"Twinsies" might be misleading because I realize these two guys don't look exactly alike, especially not as similar as Hemsky and Moller. But whenever I watch 'Mad Men', as I longingly gaze at Don Draper (played by Jon Hamm) I can't help but see a little bit of Jarrett Stoll in him. Don Draper is like the older, wiser, more hair-endowed, steamier version of Jarrett Stoll.

Hello there, Don Draper