Thursday, July 19, 2007

This week is...

JMFJ week. With already two consecutive posts about the kid why stop now? Next week I'll only write posts about another fabulous Kings player.

Why is it that every time I see Mike Modano I think of JMFJ. And whenever I see JMFJ I think of Modano. I think they sort of look alike, but whenever I put their pictures next to each other on my fireplace mantle, they don’t quite look like twins (hence, the lack of a Twinsies post). It might be because JMFJ is approximately 20 years younger than Modano, give or take a few years. Or it might be because I really hope that JMFJ doesn’t grow up to be just like Mike. Sure, I want him to grow old beautifully with a frazzled mane of golden hair, a baby face that will ensure he looks at least 5 years younger, and dashing good looks that make ladies of all ages swoon at the sight of him. But here is a list of things that infamously define Mike Modano; I hope JMFJ does not make the same mistakes.

  1. Lose millions through a shifty financial advisor: Even though a couple million lost through bad investments only means that he’s still worth several million (or at least he should), if Modano's making millions, he should be smart enough to invest through a trustworthy investor at a trustworthy company. JMFJ, do your research in finding someone who won’t lose you a year’s salary, because I won’t settle for a rented apartment in Redondo Beach that is a 10 minute drive to the beach. I demand a three-story beach front house in Manhattan Beach. Got it? Good.
  2. Slam USA Hockey because you’re a huge weenie: If Modano was unhappy with the way USA Hockey handled everything, he shouldn’t have bothered being a part of the Olympics. I doubt JMFJ will make this mistake, but it never hurts to remind.
  3. Date and then propose to a pseudo celebrity: JMFJ lives in LA and I’m sure he’ll brush shoulders with A-List Celebrities. Go for the gold or go for the girl next door. The ZZZ-List Celebrities will just embarrass you by taking on the role of Anna Nicole Smith .
  4. Date and then propose to someone who uses their real last name to create a first and last name: That is so unbelievably lame I don’t even know where to start. I wonder if Mike calls her Willa or Amanda. I hope he calls her Amanda because Willa sounds too much like Willow, which reminds me of those little people and Val Kilmer looking so not hot. There’s no way in hell she’s a Mandy because she’s not even close to being cute enough. Mandy Moore may be tall, but she’s still cute as a button.
  5. Let your fiancée do an interview for ESPN about you and your team: That is never a good idea for anyone especially if your fiancee’s name is Willa Ford or Elisha Cuthbert.
  6. Let your fiancée criticize your team for taking away your beloved “C”: I appreciate honesty but only when it’s done tastefully. If Modano was feeding her lines than he should have been the one doing the interview and not hiding behind her. If she did in fact come up with those eloquent responses all by herself…then I hope after the interview Modano told her to shut her yapper!!
In the years to come, JMFJ better not let down his female fanbase!!


Rinslet said...

If you ask Steph, I've been on a JMFJ... JMFJ 2 months where I've been trying to convert anyone and everyone on his awesomeness... (although I'v eonly really seen him play a grand total of 6 times!!!)

Jordi refuses to love him until he decapitates Crosby or Pronger. (Preferably both)

KMS2 said...

I've only seen him play a handful of games, but I love him and think that everyone should too!

He'll have 8 games this upcoming season to put the hurt on Pronger.