The Kings haven't played Anaheim since November but I'm still sick of the Ducks. I'm tired of hearing about them. I'm annoyed with Sniedermayer for being a weeny and attracting so much attention making everyone in the whole hockey universe guess as to whether or not he would return this season...and for then coming back and helping the Ducks in their recent surge. Oh, so I guess you are that special. I hate you. I'm even more annoyed with Teemu for being even a bigger weeny than Sniedermayer. It's past the midpoint of the season. The Ducks will play the majority of their remaining games at home so how convenient for Selanne if he comes back now when he won't have to spend as much time on the road. How many other players in this league would be allowed such freedom? It's like they're on this glorious high chair looking down below at all the sad little people in Ducks jerseys who have to go through the rigorous training, the losing, the travel. I hate them because they make me feel bad for the rest of the Ducks squad and I should never feel this way towards the Ducks. I hope I never have to feign support for a Kings player who wants everyone to wait around on his terms. Sure the team may say they've moved on but how could you not expect them to think about what it would be like if their star players rejoined the roster.
I hate the Ducks because I work in Orange County and while my coworkers rarely say a word or even raise an eyebrow after another devastating Kings loss, I don't doubt that once the playoffs roll around and my team is gone and "their" team is back in it again I won't hear the end of it till they're ceremoniously booted out of the playoffs. I REALLY hate Bryan Hayward. Maybe I will burn his hockey card in a bonfire ritual to cleanse my apartment of all things wrong with the world.
I hate Marc Crawford because he has an unnaturally high-pitched voice and he sucks at coaching the Kings. I hate that my team has not gelled very well this season. I hate that FSN won't show all 6 parts of the Royal Race at one time and instead teases us with one clip at a time. I hate that almost every single Kings player has a minus rating. I hate playing the Detroit Red Wings.
and most of all....I HATE driving in the rain! When I was in St. Louis for college every student from the northeast would complain about St. Louis not knowing how to handle a light snow flurry. Well, Southern Californians can't deal with rain and I am no exception. You should have heard us at work today. "Is it going to rain today? It is? How long? Through the weekend?!!?" It was as if the world was ending. To make matters worse, as I made my way up the 405 going a steady 20mph I heard on the radio that there was a tornado warning for the city I live in...WTF?! I don't think one happened, but still...we don't do tornadoes...we don't even have a real storm drain system.
Tonight I'm annoyed with everything in the world, I'm a hater of all things related to the Ducks, and all I want is for my team to beat the Ducks. Is that really too much to ask?
11 comments:
Great post. I'm with you on basically everything.
1) Brian Hayward really IS a bag of douche.
2) I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees that Crawford has an oddly high-pitched voice.
3) I don't work in Orange County. Thank god.
I HATE HATE HATE the Ducks. Rock on!
People in the Pacific Northwest can't drive in snow...or rain really. It doesn't usually rain very hard here, so when it does pour they freak out. When it snows, there are no plows, so people here sit on the freeway until it rains to clear up the snow. For as much as people bitch about rapid and violent weather changes in Minnesota, it's a really good driving instructor.
I am thoroughtly pissed at Niedermayer. My team was beating the Ducks just fine until he came back, then we all of a sudden they got owned. I used to love him to death, but now that he pulled this bullshit trick, I have lost a lot of respect for him. (I was also less than pleased with his choice of teams/killing the Wild in the playoffs, but I'm ok with the fact that he wanted to play with Rob...)
Wow, too long for a comment, sorry. I just needed to vent some Ducks hate.
ckim: Hayward is the biggest douchebag known to man. Crawford's voice isn't as bad as Andy Murray's, but it's still odd. He just doesn't sound very manly and want my coaches sounding like a Real Man!
kirsten: I remember one night in college I had borrowed a friend's car and overnight it snowed so the next morning there was a light layer of snow and ice. I had to have my roommate (a native St. Louisian) help me de-ice the car so we could actually open the door and then she drove his car back to him since I knew I would probably wreck it if I tried to drive in snow.
Yeah, Niedermayer is a little punk. If it wasn't clear enough in the post, I, too, have lost some respect for him.
Well, I'm glad you're feeling passionate, at least.
Still, as Kirsten has noted, there's lots of Ducks to hate for lots of valid reasons, but it doesn't seem to slow 'em down. Still, keep hating. Someday it's going to work, maybe even tonight.
p.s. Hayward is a douche; you don't even have to be a Duck-hater to agree on that point. My DVR burned out this past weekend and I was going crazy having to listen to his "expertise" in between periods. The horror!
The worst part is that I live with a guy who's a Ducks fan and he doesn't even make fun of the Kings anymore. It's not pity, it's just kind of a bemusement. Fucking infuritating.
I hope I didn't curse the Kings by choosing them as my adoptive west coast team. If I did, I'm sorry and I will stop immediately.
You know what works well for de-icing doors? Take a lighter and heat up your key a bit. Then run it along the edge of the door until the ice melts and you can open the door.
WhoooOOoooo! I have come to love the Kings (I'm a Sabres fan). I can't quite tell you why, but there you go. I am SO pleased about the win last night!
KMS - haha, like Real Men of Genius? I think if they made a commercial with Crow in one of those situations, I'd literally die.
Check out my pictures and the video Finny and I made a la KMS1 & CKim!
Earl, thanks for taking the high road and not bash my Kings. I appreciate your kindness. It's very comforting to know that Ducks fans don't like Hayward either.
Rudy: You live with a Ducks fan? How have you not killed yourself already?
Kirsten: don't worry, you didn't curse the team. We've always been pretty bad.
Katebits: Awww, I'm so glad you like the Kings! I'm always worried that non-Californians will think, "The Kings? Who?"
ckim: I'll make sure to check them out later today. Crow sure is getting grey, isn't he?
Apparently it was NOT too much to ask for the Kings to beat them. On that note - completely agree with you about Neids & Selanne. The whole world is rested on pins and needles for one effin' guy (two if you count 'LyKe OmG wHeN iS tHaT SiDnEy GuY gOiNg To GeT bAcK? HeS tOtAlLy CuTe!') and it drives me bonkers. Come back or don't dudes. If they hadn't just won the Cup, I doubt they would've been given so much freedom.
'LyKe OmG wHeN iS tHaT SiDnEy GuY gOiNg To GeT bAcK? HeS tOtAlLy CuTe!'
hahah! How long did it take you to write that?? I actually am wondering about that since he's on my fantasy team!!
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