Friday, December 21, 2007

I don't speak retard.

Dear Crow,

Why are you such an idiot?

In today's LA Times article you were quoted as saying

"We had a very businesslike approach to today's practice. A lot of times it was E.F. Hutton out there. And they were listening. We're gonna get through this. We're going to have to stick together and work and concentrate on the right things."

I had no idea what you were referring to when you said "E.F. Hutton". I figured it was something like "Patton" or some other military or, at the very least, literary, reference. I checked my trusty source and found out that "E. F. Hutton & Co. was an American stock brokerage firm founded in 1904 by Edward Francis Hutton". Apparently it was some big brokerage firm but further down the page it talks about how the company essentially gave itself loans without having any interest tied to them (can we say...illegal), laundered money in the late '80s, eventually lost $76 million around the time of the '87 market crash, and finally was merged with Shearson Lehman Brothers in 1988. Nowadays there is no "Hutton" but whatever may remain from those stellar days are now part of Citigroup.


So, Crow...when you say "it was E.F. Hutton out there", are you talking about the demise of the company because really that's the only comparison I can draw between the stock brokerage firm and the state of the LA Kings. Or, were there a lot of shady occurrences during the practice? Or did the practice start off being very efficient and then the players collapsed?

There are so many ways you could have described yesterday's practice. For instance, you really could have said "it was Citigroup out there" meaning you were drawing a comparison to Citigroup's CEO recently resigning and your, most likely, near future exit from the team. The fact that you made a reference to a stock brokerage company that hasn't been around since the late '80s and ended its reign on such a low and embarrassing note does not give me confidence that you know how to motivate a team. Seriously Crow, it's no wonder the team is in shambles. Seeing how you can't even get simple messages across to the fans, I don't understand how anyone from a foreign country would be able to understand your retard speak. Your players are probably still processing "motivational" comments you made three weeks ago. Let me guess, you told the guys they need to start playing like the Cabbage Patch Kids dolls...you know, they're so hideous and awful that they become rare items that everyone eventually wants to have a piece of....wait... what? Oh you already told them that? Awesome....is it October 2008 yet?

Crow, all I want for Christmas is for you to not be with the team come January 2008.

Not respectfully submitted, (I can't stand it when people sign emails "respectfully submitted"...fuck that noise)
kms2

8 comments:

KingsCast Hockey Podcast said...

Yeah, that quote threw me for a loop as well. You have to think if the Kings lose one of two more before returning to LA, we'll all get our wish. As patient as Dean Lombardi is, I think even he has to axe him if he can't get the guys to gel. For Christ sake, we're playing Nashville and they're as bad as we are. If we can't bring a "W", it's time for Crow to go!

KMS2 said...

I'm actually surprised there haven't been more rumblings around the league about the possibility that Crow should be fired. Either the rest of the media world doesn't care about us or maybe they think we're just that bad and that no coach could do better...but then I look at our roster and think, no way...we should not be this bad.

CKim said...

Crow's got ONE MORE DAY of guaranteed employment left.

anti said...

I'll explain this to the youth. EF Hutton was well known for a string of commercials whose tag line was 'When EF Hutton talks, people listen.' I hope the 'retard' makes more sense to you know. Back to your regularly scheduled pro-fucking-gramming.

KMS2 said...

Yes, "anti", that part was in the Wikipedia article...HOWEVER, E.F. Hutton is still the SHITTIEST reference to ever make considering the company absolutely TANKED and now has no legacy. He's making comments about a brokerage firm that was at the top of its game in the '70s-'80s when most of these kids were too young to care about investments or weren't even born. Bottomline is he could have used a much better description of the practice. Thanks for stopping by!!!

anti said...

sorry, but you fail. anyone who remembers ef hutton only remembers the commercials, not the end of the company. i knew exactly what he meant as soon as he said it. but hell, i'm in the market, and even i was scratching my head going 'i wonder what the hell happened to them'...

Kirsten said...

Ahahaha, this made me laugh so hard. I've always thought he was a fuckhead (has a lot do with who he used to coach), and that opinion has not changed. I hope you get your wish. I don't wish bad things like Crawford on teams I sort of like.

CKim said...

sorry, but you fail. anyone who remembers ef hutton only remembers the commercials

Whatever dude.

I've always thought he was a fuckhead (has a lot do with who he used to coach)

haha, good call.