I don't speak retard.

Dear Crow,

Why are you such an idiot?

In today's LA Times article you were quoted as saying

"We had a very businesslike approach to today's practice. A lot of times it was E.F. Hutton out there. And they were listening. We're gonna get through this. We're going to have to stick together and work and concentrate on the right things."

I had no idea what you were referring to when you said "E.F. Hutton". I figured it was something like "Patton" or some other military or, at the very least, literary, reference. I checked my trusty source and found out that "E. F. Hutton & Co. was an American stock brokerage firm founded in 1904 by Edward Francis Hutton". Apparently it was some big brokerage firm but further down the page it talks about how the company essentially gave itself loans without having any interest tied to them (can we say...illegal), laundered money in the late '80s, eventually lost $76 million around the time of the '87 market crash, and finally was merged with Shearson Lehman Brothers in 1988. Nowadays there is no "Hutton" but whatever may remain from those stellar days are now part of Citigroup.

So, Crow...when you say "it was E.F. Hutton out there", are you talking about the demise of the company because really that's the only comparison I can draw between the stock brokerage firm and the state of the LA Kings. Or, were there a lot of shady occurrences during the practice? Or did the practice start off being very efficient and then the players collapsed?

There are so many ways you could have described yesterday's practice. For instance, you really could have said "it was Citigroup out there" meaning you were drawing a comparison to Citigroup's CEO recently resigning and your, most likely, near future exit from the team. The fact that you made a reference to a stock brokerage company that hasn't been around since the late '80s and ended its reign on such a low and embarrassing note does not give me confidence that you know how to motivate a team. Seriously Crow, it's no wonder the team is in shambles. Seeing how you can't even get simple messages across to the fans, I don't understand how anyone from a foreign country would be able to understand your retard speak. Your players are probably still processing "motivational" comments you made three weeks ago. Let me guess, you told the guys they need to start playing like the Cabbage Patch Kids dolls...you know, they're so hideous and awful that they become rare items that everyone eventually wants to have a piece of....wait... what? Oh you already told them that? Awesome....is it October 2008 yet?

Crow, all I want for Christmas is for you to not be with the team come January 2008.

Not respectfully submitted, (I can't stand it when people sign emails "respectfully submitted"...fuck that noise)
kms2